Relax. Life's too stressed out.

Sunday, October 30, 2005


Posted: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 07:56:39 GMT

Source: I'm up at 8.30 and it feels odd. I'm shaking so much that the mouse is going all over the place. I don't think this is stress, this is just being awake early. I went to bed at half past ten and I didn't get to sleep until five because that's my usual bed time. Maybe I could get into an early bed time routine if I got the job, but Chris always has late bed times even if he has early shifts and I don't want to miss out on seeing him. Maybe I wouldn't be able to handle full time after all, maybe I should just go for part time. After all, then if it goes okay I could ask for more shifts and that'd be a good thing. If I start full time it'd be harder to go to part time if I change my mind. But I want more than just Saturday shifts or something, because I want more money. I want to work three days a week maybe. If they offer me either just Saturdays or full time, I'll probably pick full time. But I can't exactly say that I'd rather have part time but will accept full time if that's all they're offering me, can I? Maybe I can kind of ask for somewhere in between? Like, three and a half days? 30 hours a week? Is that just hopelessly picky? I'll try and still sound flexible... I don't want to screw this up. I just don't know how much I can handle.

Plus, I'm wondering if I've even got the time right. On the phone, he said "three... no ten-thirty." Well, maybe he said two-thirty because that's closer to three? How will I know? I can't ring him back because I've had enough of phones. Will it be really awful if I turn up five hours early? I mean, he's going to be at work all day anyway?

And I've just remembered that on my CV I lied and said I'd worked for a week in Lucy's friend's friend's shop, and she asked him and he said he'd be my reference. Which is okay except for the fact they'll ask me what I did and I'll have to lie. I'm going to say I didn't use the till or anything, just put stuff on shelves and answered customer questions. That shouldn't be too hard to lie about. But still!

If they ask me why I've not had a real job before... I'm going to say that I never really needed one before and that as I was doing my Open University studies I didn't look that hard for a job. Is that okay? I could also use my OU as an excuse as to why I don't want to do really full-time, even though you can work full time with it. I'll just say I don't want to push myself too hard...

I really want this job. I just also want to be the kind of person who can get up in the morning, and I don't think I can.


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